Are you really "Free"?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept of “freedom”.

Why did we lose touch with it?

Or rather, why did we stop chasing it as individuals?

Growing up, there was a sense of freedom.

It might sound strange, especially coming from a household where parents constantly asked you to study and focus. But still, there was freedom. There was joy.

Now, ironically, we have more freedom than ever. We can technically do anything we want. And yet, most of us are not happy.

So then what is freedom?

What does it even mean?

For me, I realised this very recently. When I finally got my driving licence here (in Ireland), a friend called me and said, “Let’s go on a road trip.” And I could just say yes. I could book a car, get in, and drive.

That ability alone felt like freedom.

For me, getting into a car and driving to a remote location is freedom. For the past two and a half years, I didn’t have that option. I didn’t have a licence here. So even though I was technically free in many other ways, this one thing was missing.

I guess most of us, including me until recently, don’t actually know what freedom means to us personally.

Freedom sounds great in theory. You are free to do whatever you want. But what is it that you actually want to do when you are free?

Somewhere along the line, with adulthood, jobs, deadlines, and responsibilities, we lost touch with that feeling.

And don’t get me wrong, freedom does not have to be some massive, life-altering thing.

It can be as small as making coffee.

This morning, while making coffee using my moka pot, I felt a sense of freedom. The process was calming. Almost meditative.

Which made me think, maybe meditation does not always have to look like sitting still with your eyes closed, observing your thoughts. It can also be doing something with complete presence. Letting thoughts come and go without reacting to them.

It can happen in the shower.

While cooking.

While making coffee. You got the gist

The modern world has made us believe that freedom means being free from money problems, family responsibilities, or obligations. And while that version of freedom is valid, it takes time.

But does that mean you are not free right now?

Does that mean you cannot be happy right now?

You can.

And that is the point.

We need to define what freedom means to us, both in a small sense and in a larger, long-term sense. Because if we only chase the big version of freedom, we end up sacrificing the present.

I have this vivid memory from childhood. For every small expense, I had to ask my parents for money. And subconsciously, I felt they held the power.

So I associated freedom with money.

If I had money, I wouldn’t have to justify my choices to anyone.

That belief is what pushed me towards tutoring students, selling small projects, building IPs, and trying to make money early on.

But now I realise that freedom is not just financial stability. There’s more to it.

And social media plays a huge role in distorting our definition of freedom.

Humans can only maintain meaningful relationships with around 150 people. That’s how our brains are wired. But with social media, we are exposed to thousands of lives every day.

And with that comes mimetic desire.

You start wanting things not because you truly want them, but because you saw someone else have them.

As a kid, my idea of freedom was living in a countryside house with a backyard, plants, a lawn to mow, and family around. That felt peaceful.

But over time, watching people travel the world, work remotely, and live nomadic lives, I started thinking that is what I should want.

Slowly, core values fade. And before you realise it, you’re chasing someone else’s dream while calling it ambition.

What we often forget is that social media mostly shows highlights. No one shares the boring parts, the loneliness, the uncertainty, or the trade-offs.

That is why discovering my own definition of freedom again felt grounding. For me, today, it is the ability to take a car and go on a spontaneous trip. It makes me happy.

I am okay with not living a millionaire lifestyle. I am okay earning a few thousand euros a month, working remotely, having a small team, and spending time with my family.

That feels like freedom to me right now.

It is no longer about material things. It is about belonging. Being part of a community.

One of the best exercises I’ve found is going back to activities I enjoyed as a kid. Playing cricket. Board games.

Those things tell you a lot about what actually fuels you.

Another thing to be mindful of is how this capitalist world is designed. Everything is built to make you want more. Trends and Desires that are manufactured.

You don’t need another piece of fabric. You want them.

You don’t need a fancy car. You want it.

A car’s basic job is to take you from point A to point B. Everything else is narrative.

And yes, I enjoy bikes more than cars. One day, I will buy my dream bike. But that’s a want, not a need. And being aware of that distinction is important.

This is how mimetic desire works. You see someone living a certain lifestyle, sharing their highlight reel, and suddenly you want the same thing. When you don’t have it, frustration builds. Sometimes it even turns into resentment.

So the question to ask is simple.

Is this something I truly want?

Or is it something I was taught to want?

If the answer is no, then it is just a mimetic desire. And you have to let it go.

Freedom, at its core, is not about having everything.

It is about knowing what is enough.

And that definition will keep changing. That’s okay too. As long as you are aware.

Let me know if you’re are truely free right now by simply replying to this email.

Thanks,

See you in the next one!