What is "Right" for me? Ever thought about it?
Written on 4th Aug 2025
This week, I have been thinking a lot about choices. There are so many options in life, so many careers I can pick, so many places I could live, and so many versions of me that could exist depending on the choices I make.
And that brought me to the question, how does one know which path is the right one?
First of all, what does right even mean?
I have always thought every second that passes brings me closer to death, and if I start living with that thought in mind, I would feel pressure to get everything right.
Every second, every choice.
But what is the definition of right when there are ten different paths that all lead to different futures?
I started reflecting on the three biggest decisions I have made so far:
Saying no to my campus placement at Wipro.
Shutting down my web app development business.
Moving abroad to Ireland.
Now, I often wonder what my life would look like had I chosen differently. What if I had said yes to the placement and built a career in India?
What if I had continued running my business instead of shutting it down? What if I had never moved abroad at all?
These decisions are like pivotal points creating parallel realities (bear with me have been reading alot about Quantum Physics lately).
Maybe one of those alternate paths would have worked out beautifully after four years, but I gave up after three.
Or maybe it would have taken even longer. The truth is, I will never know.
This uncertainty reminded me of a powerful analogy from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar about the fig tree. She writes about seeing her life branching out like a fig tree, with each fig representing a different possible future.
From The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
One fig is marriage and family, another is a career as a poet, another is travel, another is academia, and so on.
She wanted each and every fig, but choosing one meant losing all the others. So, paralyzed by indecision, she sat there as the figs withered and fell. And potentially she dies out of hunger.
That passage hit me deeply because it is exactly how I feel when I look at my options. Do I want to be an entrepreneur, a data professional, a creator, an athlete, a traveler, a writer? Even applies to personal life like choosing partner.
Do I want to stay in Ireland, go back to India, or move elsewhere? There are so many figs, and wanting them all makes it easy to end up with none.
But Plath also highlights an important truth she was confused because she was hungry. Hunger leads to desperation, and desperation clouds decision making.
When you are fed, when your foundation is stable, you can choose wisely. The same goes for us if we are not in survival mode, we can make choices from clarity rather than panic.
Think of walking into a grocery store on an empty stomach. You end up buying chips, ice cream, and things you don’t need. But if you go in fed, with a list in hand, you stick to the essentials.
Life works the same way. If you are grounded and calm, your choices come from a better place.
So how do we pick the right fig? I came across a framework called the AQAL model by Ken Wilber that helps make better decisions by looking at four quadrants
I (Inner World): My thoughts, memories, emotions, fears, values, and intuition. What are my core values and what truly matters to me? What activities make me feel alive and energized? What limiting beliefs hold me back? What does my intuition say when there is no mental noise?
It (Capabilities): My skills, behaviors, and natural talents. What am I naturally good at? What are the skills I’ve developed? What were some of my favorite things as a child? What concrete steps am I taking, and what life are those steps building?
We (Culture): Shared values, relationships, societal norms, and influences. How do my parents’ expectations or my friends’ choices influence me? How does digital culture shape what I aspire to? What values do I feel drawn to and find meaningful?
Its (Systems): The larger environment, opportunities, industries, and barriers. What does the job market look like? What trends, like AI, are shaping new possibilities? What systematic advantages or barriers exist for me?
When making decisions, instead of just asking, “What will make me happy?” we should be asking questions across all four quadrants. Happiness matters, yes, but so do our skills, our social environment, and the systems around us.
Answer these questions to find out your “Right”
Now considering that you know your “Right” next question is how do you stay focused?
Here’s an analogy from physics. Imagine a ball being pulled with equal force in ten directions. It doesn’t move it just stretches and eventually bursts.
Too much physics, btw ever wondered what will happen if you jump inside a black hole? Fascinating right but that’s the topic for some other day. PS: I know the answer ;)
Never mind coming back to the topic, that is exactly how burnout feels when you are trying to do everything at once.
But if you apply force in one direction focus on one thing the ball moves forward. Slowly, yes, but at least it moves.
So the real problem is not about finding the one perfect fig, but about picking one fig and committing to it long enough to see what fruit it bears.
Because the truth is, the only wrong choice is not choosing at all. If you want a practical takeaway about how you can stay focused, try these three things
Use the 2-minute rule: If something takes less than 2 minutes, do it immediately. These little micro-tasks, like replying to a text, putting clothes in the washing machine, or writing down a grocery item, are similar to having open Chrome tabs in your brain. The more they stay open, the more memory they consume and the slower everything becomes. Closing them right away frees up mental bandwidth and keeps your focus sharp.
Set 2 non-negotiables per day: If everything is a priority, then nothing truly is. Pick 2 tasks not three not four just 2. That absolutely matter for that day. Just two. It could be finishing a work project and getting to the gym, or maybe drafting your newsletter and preparing meals. Having only 2 non‑negotiables creates clarity and keeps you from feeling scattered. When those 2 are done, you know you’ve moved forward.
Journal or brain dump: Our brain is designed for creating and connecting ideas, not for hoarding them. When I offload what’s in my head whether that’s onto paper aka Journal, or a digital note, or even a voice memo I clear up space to think. Journaling doesn’t need to be fancy; it is simply a way to get thoughts out so your mind can focus on execution.
Now, while thinking about choices, I also realised something watching the new Superman movie. No spoilers here, but when everything goes against him, there is still a group of people who stand by him and raise his flag (Personal Branding 101).
That struck me deeply. Because beyond money, status, or achievements, what I genuinely want is impact. I want to build something that makes people put up my flag even when I am not around.
That is the true definition of legacy for me. And that is why I am building the MAP community.
When I moved abroad, I felt lonely. In my first year in Ireland, I could count my friends on one hand. In the second year, I started meeting more people, and I realised how much energy, accountability, and joy human connection brings.
We are social creatures. From the beginning of time, humans lived in tribes. We thrive when we are with people who understand us.
The MAP community is my attempt to recreate that. A space for people moving abroad, who share the same struggles, same dreams, and same uncertainties.
A place where you can find friends, roommates, mentors, business partners, or simply people who get you.
There will be weekly calls, guest sessions from people around the world, and retreats across different countries.
More than anything, it will be a tribe where no one has to feel alone on this journey.
In the end, life is not about collecting every fig. It is about picking one, tasting it fully, and trusting that even if you missed some others, the one in your hand is enough to keep you moving forward.
So the real question is: which fig will you choose next?
PS: I still love Batman.
Whenever you’re ready, here are some ways I can help you:
Strategic Advisory call: Get on a 50-minute strategic advisory call with me to break through a current personal or career roadblock.
Gain a high-impact mental model to navigate your challenge with clarity and confidence. Reframe obstacles into leverage points that accelerate your growth. Walk away with a precise action plan that gets you moving without unnecessary friction.
See you next Sunday!